Certain areas, boundaries, districts, and zip-codes of New Orleans are practically picture perfect. Low-crime, great schools, beautiful houses w/gardens, great neighbors, etc.... a wonderful neighborhood. But I can assure you, very few parts of New Orleans are as described. In fact, travel outside of certain "Uptown" areas and certain parts of "Lakeview", and you're in for a rude awakening.
When people think of New Orleans, they think of a few things:
- The French Quarter
- The New Orleans Saints
- Mardi Gras
- Ghetto rap/bounce music
- Food
The French Quarter is a nice place to visit. To see the sites, view it's history, hear the music, taste the food, etc.... but for the most part it's gross. Locals avoid it - for good reason. It's a tourist trap plain & simple. It smells horrible. It's WAAY over-priced. Nights & weekends, it's a hot-spot for tourist based crime such as pick-pockets, scams, cons, or any way to get money. The only people who actually live in the French Quarter are fags, people who rent rooms by the week (starving/horrible artists, strippers, hookers, dope addicts, or drifters) or old people who have lived there their entire life. If you're planning on visiting New Orleans, spend your time and money on other things that are way more fun and interesting. Take a riverboat cruise. Take a swamp tour.
The Saints:
Our NFL team is practically the only thing that most New Orleanians agree on. We live & die by our beloved Saints. As of writing this blog post, I honestly think that Drew Brees could run for Mayor of New Orleans and win by a land-slide. If the Saints win another SBowl with Drew Brees as quarterback, he would be elected Governor of LA without even being on the ballot. We take our Saints that seriously.
Mardi Gras:
I have a love/hate relationship with Mardi-Gras. For the most part I'm over it. I grew up here so I've witnessed lots of parades. Even rode in a few (which is a BLAST by the way - I highly recommend it). But Mardi-Gras is becoming a ghetto hood-rat, hoochie-momma, booty-poppin, twerkin, pot-smoking, twerk fest that is simply disgusting. Even the "white" areas of Mardi-Gras are being infiltrated with rude, teeth sucking, lip-smacking, hair-weave having, titty-tattoo'd hood-rats and their hood-rat kids. Here's what you will encounter at Mardi Gras at the most popular parades in New Orleans and Metairie:
- Parade with both men & women riders: The men throw to hot chicks. Older men throw to children, milf's and hot chicks. Women throw to children and their friends. If you are lucky enough to be accompanied by either a hot chick, milf, or a child, chances are some minority adult will stand in front of you, your child or your hot chick and/or milf in order to snag a $.30 pair of beads.
- Parade with only men riders: If you're NOT a hot chick or a child, forget it. You ain't catchin shit unless you know someone who is or are friends with a krewe member. It's that simple.
- Parade with only women riders: Most female parade krewe's are white ladies, girls & women. Especially in Metairie (a mostly white area). So in these parades, these females throw to blacks and kids. If you're black with small children, you're in for a treat and will catch a LOT of stuff. Why you may ask? Because for some reason these white females feel they "owe" black people. It's as if they're paying restitution and reparations for their whiteness.... Yeah, stupid I know, but it's true.
- Parade with only black riders: If you're white, you might as well find a nice comfortable location, on a balcony, with air-conditioning, open bar, buffet and toilet, and just watch the spectacle. It will be entertaining as you'll see and hear a variety of.... ummm.... "behaviors". Forget about catching anything. If you're white, you're lucky if you're able to pick up a pair of discarded/broken beads off of the ground. However you WILL witness all types of twerking, booty-poppin, stripper-dancing, profanity laced rap songs, adults with children singing along to all sorts of disgusting, high-energy, pornographic content. You will also witness and hear many choice curse words while you watch exactly what certain people are capable of and are willing to do for beads and trinkets. It's seriously like watching a zoo-keeper feed the animals and watching them fight over food. BUT IT IS ENTERTAINING TO WATCH!
I do hope my lovable city will begin to improve although it doesn't seem like that's going to happen. You see, the city is primarily black. Most white people have moved out of the city limits (other than uptown). So black mayors, black politicians, black judges and black leaders are in control. Let's see how that turns out. So far, our black female mayor has done nothing except removed historic monuments, left a fallen building hazard downtown (with 2 dead bodies in it) and has committing tax-fraud. Not bad huh?
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